In college, you’re bound to have one or two college professors that are a fine specimen of a man, or woman (as Shelby said), who inspires you, challenges you, and is invested in your development. With all that in mind, it is totally common for college students to develop crushes on their professors. I’m sure it’s even happened to you. It’s happening right now on campuses across the country.
- I have a fedora-wearing, Youtube-using, subtly funny, culturaly aware, effortlessly classy, extremely knowledgable former graduate professor for Music of the US. My life just got a little more awesome. – yogabbagabbagail
- I have a mega crush on my music theory professor. Yeah, it’s going to be a good semester. – chazndave
So how do you deal when you’re crushing on your college professor?
- Recognize it’s totally natural. When the person in front of the room is instilling in you a passion for learning, giving you attention, validation, and acceptance, crushes can bloom. It happens when professors are hot. It happens when professors aren’t particularly attractive. Sometimes it’s physical, but a lot of the times it’s about attention. Which leads us to…
- Re-think your crush. Tiffany was seriously crushing on her professor and said, “It’s not about sex, really. It’s that I want to be inside his head. I want to be near him, I want him to talk to me for hours, I want him to focus just on me and I want to sit next to him and soak up everything about him.”
- Think of it from your professor’s point of view. Darren, a college professor, says this: “I’ve got a few women in a few of my classes who have crushes on me, and one or two of them have been flirting with me pretty heavily. I try and have good boundaries with them, because I’m only an adjunct. I don’t want to lose my job, and besides, I do very much want to be a professional in and out of the classroom.”
- Consider student/teacher relationship rules. Chances are, your college has some consensual relationship rules in place prohibiting an intimate or sexual relationship between student and teacher.
While your college professor may be your favorite fantasy, it’s a good idea to maintain healthy boundaries. As Karen told a heartsick college student crushing on her professor, “I’m certain your professor would appreciate your maintaining appropriate boundaries and professionalism in the context of the professor/student relationship.”
Time to spill. Have you ever had a crush on your college professor? What did you do?