Halloween Manners Part 1

As you work this week, take heart: Halloween is next Monday. Whether you’re staying at home handing lollipops to goblins or dressing in the costume of your dreams for the holiday party, manners should be part of the evening. Dress like a witch and “arrr!” like a pirate, but behave like ladies and gentlemen.

HALLOWEEN ETIQUETTE Q&A:

1. HOW DO YOU SIGNAL TO OTHERS YOU’RE DISTRIBUTING CANDY? While a gleaming porch light has been the favored nonverbal cue of candy-offering in the past, other signals include a carved and lit pumpkin, a holiday-decorated home, ghoulish music piping from a sound system, or the visible physical presence of a candy-giver. If the weather’s too cold to remain outside, I’d recommend keeping the outer-front door pulled back somewhat so a trick-or-treater understands this house is open for business.
2. HOW DO YOU SIGNAL TO OTHERS YOU’RE *NOT* DISTRIBUTING CANDY? Turn off the porch light. Adopt-for the night, anyway-a “no-show-of-life” exterior so your house is passed by this year. Make your house easy to decode. Pull down the blinds and if possible, park your car in the garage for the evening. Maintain a consistent nonverbal message that communicates there are no Hershey kisses here.Important addendum: There’s no mandate that says one must distribute candy on Halloween, although my students were aghast I’d suggest such blasphemy (and yes, these are college students). Sure, Halloween can be fun and communal. But people can have good reasons for not furnishing candy. Religious beliefs may prohibit distribution, health issues impact energy level, or-very likely in today’s economy-people simply don’t have money to purchase candy. Respect their position and cheerfully move onto the next house that will satisfy your Snickers or Nerd candy fix.
3. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO OR SAY IF TRICK-OR-TREATERS SAY NOTHING AND JUST HOLD OUT THEIR BAGS? I’m going to magnanimously assume that the children are shy and forget to say “thank you”. To all the parents, teachers, and other caretakers out there, please reinforce the value of basic manners. Halloween can be a great learning opportunity for real-world application of civility. Indeed, even consider a practice role-play run with your own trick-or-treater.Here’s how I can help teach manners to my 5-year old niece (who wants you to know she’s dressing as Marie Antoinette for 2009; she fell in love with the wig).”Caitlyn, when you get to the door, what do you say? That’s right: ‘Trick or Treat’”.”What do you say when they give you a piece of candy? ‘Thank you’, you’re absolutely correct.”"How many pieces do you take if they allow you to make your own selection from the candy bowl? Just one is right.”"And what if a neighbor gives you candy you may not like? You got it: ‘Thank you’”.

   Sometimes when I offer candy and don’t receive a “thank you” in response, I’ll mention a polite “You’re welcome” to the person. Many times, they’ll scramble to give a “thank you” in return.

This is part of a 3 part mini-series on Halloween Manners! Don’t miss Halloween Manners Part 2 and Halloween Manners Part 3.

© 2009-2011, LisaMarie Luccioni, The Image Professor, All Rights Reserved