Awesome Things College Professors Say

Sometimes college professors say the darndest things. One of your favorite back to school activities may be listening to awesome things that your college professors have to say. If you have a cool college professor, you’ve likely heard things like…

1. “Don’t cheat in this class, you will fail this course and then you will die.” The first words of my class this morning. That woke me up. - Audrey
2. “Our professor strapped a teletubby to a bouncy ball to show us how we can only view a certain part of the sky from different places on earth. Gotta love Discovering the Universe.” - Jessica Banks
3. “In Kingship, I am the king. I love you. You love me…..we’re a happy family.” - Deecue‘s Government Teacher
4. “Yesterday, my Math 1B GSI (Graduate Student Instructor) compared integration by parts to pirates and ninjas.” - feendaffaire
5. “It may seem a silly reason to go to war, but put it in modern terms. Imagine if Michelle Obama ran off with Kim Jong Il. That would be….God that would be so weird…” - rycitycentral‘s Literature as Art professor on the Torjan War
6. “I’m in intermediate microeconomics. My professor is using Harry, Ron, and Hermione as examples of different levels of productivity.” - theycallmeaviendha
7. “So Harriet Tubman was — that was my hip by the way. I didn’t just fart in front of you guys.” - talkingshrimp‘s History teacher
8. “Dear Students, Please consider using our office hours as an opportunity to learn. It feels lonely sitting in my office when nobody shows-up.” - confusedquark‘s Logic Systems professor
9. “You’ve never seen Mickey Mouse stop a dialogue sequence to groom himself. But real mice WILL do that.” - nashhha‘s Neuropsychology professor
10. “In today’s class, my professor said she would give anything in the world for two minutes to be in the mind of her cat.” - xphosho‘s Professor
11. “Student: Is there a participation grade?
    Professor: No, I think that only rewards the bullsh!tters that drone on and on and on.” - yaej‘s Ethics and International Relations Class
12. “What the hell is wrong with you guys? Why the hell are you depressed? Barely in your 20s! Be happy! You are young, beautiful, handsome, brainy, you have the world at your finger tips! These are your golden years. It is beautiful in this world; California weather, eh? God has blessed us! Be happy!” -arrajane‘s Professor Spyridakis
13. “I’d like to live with Bill Murray.” -bccrayolamakher‘s Composition professor
14. “If you haven’t found the textbook yet you guys might also want to try Wal-mart.com.” -fornowjustcarryon‘s professor
15. “Facebook is the Internet meat market.” - lizshutterbug‘s professor, Dr. Phillips
16. “I just wish I was younger. You wouldn’t be sitting there looking so complicated.” - casenpoint‘s professor Billy Turner
17. “Facebook makes me feel like a pervy, voyeuristic old man and I don’t allow it in my class. However, if YOU have an addiction and needs to check it every 30 seconds, just put up your hands and explain to me and I will excuse you outside to check your Facebook or porn or whatever it is you need to do.” - anniesapphire‘s professor
18. “Toast is appropriate for any meal.” -fistflight‘s Psychology of Gender professor

Care to add to the list?

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