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How to Dump Toxic Friends

Ideal friendships involve give and take. If you have a toxic friend who is always shooting you down, dumping their garbage on you, and draining you with their negativity, it’s important to recognize you don’t deserve this treatment, walk away, and invest in more beneficial relationships instead. Here’s how to dump energy vampires and toxic friends.

1. Bring it up gently. Melissa Meisel suggests breaking up in person by starting with, “I don’t think we should be friendly (rather than friends) anymore” then explain what is bothering you about your relationship. Be prepared for them to respond and perhaps not favorably. Stick with your guns.
2. Write a letter. Like when breaking up with a significant other, dumping a toxic friend shouldn’t be via email or text. If the thought of saying it to their face has you freaking out, write them a letter instead.
3. Slowly pull back. If you’re busy when they call and gradually stop returning her calls, you’ll find yourselves gradually grow apart and being a less significant part of each other’s lives.
4. Avoid gossiping about them. After you’ve broken up, it’s so easy to have a gossip fest where you re-hash bad memories. If you do, you’ll end up getting wrapped up in their drama all over again. After closing that chapter in your life, there’s no reason to open Pandora’s box all over again.
5. Build healthy friendships. Dumping toxic friends will leave you with a space to be filled. Kelly Rudolph of SURVIVE! Self-Defense LLC recommends first establishing healthy relationship boundaries, then resolving to make new healthy friendships.

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