Ten Reasons Why Charlie Sheen Wouldn’t Do Well At an Online College

Charlie Sheen has been all over the news recently. His bizarre, and entertaining quotations have mesmerized the nation. We here at My Colleges and Careers would like to present what these quotes reveal about Charlie Sheen’s chances for #winning at online education.

Ten Reasons Why Charlie Sheen Wouldn’t Do Well At an Online College:

1. He would melt his keyboard with his fire-breathing fists, rendering him incapable of taking online classes.
2. Most online colleges don’t offer warlock studies.
3. Trying to turn tin cans into pure gold will get him an F in his chemistry classes, but an A in an online course in alchemy, maybe he really is a warlock!
4. It’s best to stay off the internet and online universities if you want to avoid “trolls.”
5. Any professor in an online nursing program would disagree that Charlie Sheen is a drug.
6. English teachers of online courses wouldn’t allow him to spell corner with a “K.”
7. The teachers at an online school would be unable to process his papers with a normal brain.
8. If he has been surfing on a mercury surfboard he is likely suffering from mercury poisoning and should see a registered nurse.
9. He couldn’t study in an online criminal justice program if he plans to be a sheriff with an army of assassins.
10. If he took an online philosophy course he might start to believe that the scoreboard can lie.

Also: Check out our Hello Charlie Sheen Word Press Plug-in